In every gain there is a loss and in every loss there is a gain. – Inayat Khan

I’m sure this has been said by lots of people, but most recently I heard it from Rob Bell on Saturday. It seems obvious, but I never understood it. I thought if I could just organize things better, if I can get it all just right – it can all be gain. I can have it all. I’ve been eternally frustrated that having ‘it all’ has proved impossible.

Like when I’m surprised/annoyed at how tired I get when I get up early every morning. Gain of early morning writing produces loss of sleep. Or if not sleep, loss of time at night. There’s no way around it.

I’m perpetually trying to figure out how to get what I want without giving up what I currently have. I want to quit sugar and still drink Dr. Pepper and make banana bread. I want to get up early, but invite friends over to play cards late into the night. I want to grow a business and never sell myself. I want to read all the books and watch all the tv shows. I want to be fit and trim and gorge on whatever food looks good in the moment. I want to get my doctorate, and volunteer a lot more in the kids’ schools.

I want a lot of things that just don’t coexist together. That can’t coexist together.

I’ve been trying to force two gains together. I didn’t understand gains and losses are the two sides to a magnet.  A gain (+) can only connect with a loss (-). No matter how hard you try the positive sides of a magnet will not connect. They can’t ever stay together. They repel each other. The positive coexists with the negative. And there’s no changing that.

That makes things so much clearer for me. There’s no figuring it out – there’s working within the laws of science. So make a choice knowing there’s always the other side of the magnet.

For every loss there is a gain and for every gain there is a loss.