Removing the habit part of my writing habit is proving difficult. It was hard to wake up every morning at 5:00, but the words would usually come. Even when I couldn’t really share them. It’s nice to sleep another ninety minutes – actually, it’s more than nice. It makes the schedule doable. But it makes the writing sporadic. I haven’t found a new time yet that I can claim for this habit, although truthfully I haven’t tried very hard. I’ve thought it would show itself. It hasn’t. Maybe that’s the point – this sort of habit isn’t the sort that creates itself and invites me along for the ride. This is the sort of habit that must be formed and shaped and cultivated. It’s work heavy.
Habits seem to fall into two camps. They’re either A or B. A is easy and fun in the beginning, but over time you realize you don’t really like them that much after all and worse, you don’t really like yourself when you’re with them. You wonder how you can ditch them without hurting their feelings too much. They’re things like drinking soda at lunch, or coffee when you first wake up or watching tv after work. Frequently you only notice them after they’ve been around for a couple of weeks and already made themselves comfortable. They have built in addictive qualities (like energy and feeling relaxed and entertained) that distract you from what they’re really doing – taking over your living room. They’re happy to share you with whoever you want, cause they know they have the advantage of being the easy ones.
Or they’re B – rather difficult and stand-offish in the beginning. They take effort on your part and you discover the more they play hard to get, the more you want them. They want you to demonstrate just how hard you’re willing to work, how much effort you’ll put in to value them and prioritize them. These are habits you’re proud of, happy to introduce to your parents and co-workers. They won’t take much crap from you and if you start trying to rearrange them or shift things around much, they retaliate and get difficult. They’re things like exercise, healthy eating, learning a language, writing. They require commitment and dedication and don’t really like sharing you with those easy A’s. They make you choose.
This writing habit is a definite B. I wish it’d be easier. But if it was, it’d be one of those skanky A’s and I wouldn’t want it.
**There’s obviously a better name than A & B for these two types…it’s not coming to my mind. Any suggestions?