The thing about 5am is that it comes so stinking early. This is a theme I’m noticing.
It’s so early it requires things of you. It’s something you have to plan for. It won’t just happen on its own. And if your plans go awry, well you’re kind of screwed.
If for instance your young son has nightmares and wants to snuggle in your bed, and you let him, and his favorite sleeping position is the shape of a giant X, and if his hands or feet touch anything they automatically push or kick whatever it is they touched…well you can probably kiss 5 am goodbye.
Maybe not the first night, but the second night – it’s guaranteed.
Cause if you don’t, if you still try to meet that 5am goal with enthusiasm and an energetic “I can do this! Screw you sleep!” attitude, you’ll probably succeed. For a while. You’ll be tired, but fine until about 10 when you notice that you’ve been eating a lot of simple carbs. Leftover Easter candy, Hawaiian rolls – they’ve all gone down the hatch already. Graham crackers covered in leftover birthday frosting – close enough to poptarts. Great breakfast. You’re now thinking over a trip to the store to see if there is anymore leftover easter candy. And you remember “Ah. Yes. That’s right tired me = all sugar all the time me. This isn’t going to work so well for my Thinner Me goal”.
Cause not only are you trying to write everyday, and walk everyday, you’re also trying to become a Thinner You everyday. This is totally fine on normal days. But on sleep deprived days, it’s all a little ridiculous.
5am only works when everyone and everything else cooperates. Didn’t get enough sleep? 5am will be out the door – unless you’re happy to give up another goal. Like being kind to people that day. Or your Thinner Me goal. So you chose. You chose your 5 am goal over your Thinner Me goal. That’s the thing with 5am – it’s divisive. You have to chose it or something else. You can’t have both.
You might have even gone to bed early (or at least on time) even though it meant you pretty much walked in the door after bringing your daughter home from youth group and went straight to bed. You might have made that decision in favor of 5 am, but it didn’t matter because your young son had bad dreams again.
Bad dreams don’t happen often for your young son, so initially you feel a lot of sympathy. Unless it’s the second night in a row (after happening, well, next to never or at the earliest last year) and you begin to suspect that your young son has developed an appreciation for your bed. That will never do. Because you also really like your bed and it just is not the same with three people in it. It seems nearly impossible to share it with him and your cute husband too. At least if anyone (besides your young son) is hoping to get any sleep. The giant X thing just doesn’t work for you. You can’t seem to sleep when someone kicks you. Or flops their hand on your eyes shocking you out of your peace (cause let’s face it, it wasn’t exactly sleep.)
So when your best laid plans don’t work out you’re forced to consider alternatives. Should I skip 5am? Should I drink coffee? Should I plan on a nap later? Oh, right, today’s booked. Scratch that one. Should I skip the Thinner Me goal today? It’s a little early in the process for a cheat day. Crap. Coffee or skipping.
I’ve never developed a coffee habit because (1) I don’t like the taste of it and (2) I didn’t want to become dependent on it. I didn’t want to need it, and I didn’t want it to become the boss of me. I wanted to be my own boss. But you guys, sleep is sooooo the boss of me. I’m utterly dependent on a full night’s sleep. Mess with one night, I’ll be tired, but fine. Mess with two – serious adjustments need to be made. Serious nap enabling adjustments. I’m so utterly dependent on enough sleep. I guess that’s the way it’s supposed to be. But man, it’s kinda lame. And that, I’m guessing is how coffee was invented.
So I was thinking this morning, sleep requires a lot from me. Like 8 of my hours. That’s a lot. Coffee takes five minutes, ten if you’re going to enjoy it. I think I may have misjudged coffee. Course there’s still the taste issue. I’m sure I can become a tea person.