April 1, 2016

Oops! Never got back down here yesterday. Turns out I was sick, not just tired. I’m getting this recurring fever sickness that I’ve heard other people getting. Get a fever, fight a fever, be fine for a week, get a fever, fight a fever, repeat. I had another one of those spend the entire day in bed. Sometimes, when I’m not puking my guts out sick I feel a little weird resting the day away. Like do I really need to be here? I should probably do the dishes. I could do the dishes. And then I don’t. Finally one of my kids really needs me for something so I get up for them and then realize, “Ahh, that’s right there’s a reason you’re in bed today.” I feel a little lame laying around when I’m not dying.

Ha! What a mom statement.

I think that and then try to remind myself that it is not exactly my style to have no energy. It’s not exactly my style to laze in bed all day. If I’m not going crazy to get up and do something, I’m definitely sick enough to laze.

The real problem comes when deciding if you’re sick enough to cancel things. Last night I ended up missing my newly turned 11 year old’s 5th graders vs staff basketball game. He’d been looking forward to it for two years. Waiting till he was old enough to play. He’d been so excited about it. So I took him, watched him warm up and as soon as my hubs showed up, I went home. Felt a tiny bit bad about that. But not much. He was still getting to play and he didn’t seem overly concerned if I was there to watch.

Today though, I’m trying to decide if I cancel things. I’ve got an appointment with a classmate to do two online interviews. We’ve been trying for a week to get this done and something keeps going wrong. She can’t get the program to work. The record button didn’t get pressed. We’ve kept all our plans and met extra to try to figure out the problems. Our first real appointment was Wednesday and we ate up 40 minutes of our hour not being able to get the dang thing started. (Which is not normal for me. Technology stuff is usually no problem. Granted it wasn’t me trying to do it, but usually I can find some way to be helpful or problem solve.)

Once it started working we had 20 minutes left and we busted out the interview. But it didn’t get recorded. Now, this morning, it’s supposed to be my turn to interview her. And we’re going to try to fit in another attempt of her interviewing me. So it’s not like it would be no big deal to try to reschedule this. It’d suck.

But. I’ve got a limited amount of get up and go in me this morning. And I feel like I want to give it to my kids. I’ve got a birthday party to host tomorrow, tball & volleyball practice tonight. Knowing those things are coming up forces me to face the fact I can’t just push through this morning and be fine. Pushing hard through this morning would mean those other things are in jeopardy.

*****
Man this deadline stuff is brutal. I’ve got two more pages of a real point being developed here, but it just doesn’t make sense yet. I’ve cut it off at the point where it stops making sense – which is a bummer because there is absolutely no point yet. Oh well. My time is up. Suck.

This is when I remind myself I’m not trying to produce amazingness in these mornings. I mean I’d take it if I did. But my goal is to keep showing up. To keep hitting publish. Even on pointless crap. So I’m leaving you with this as it is. Hopefully I’ll come back this afternoon and bring a point with me.

 

***

UPDATED TO ADD: I did the interviews. They went great. And by great I mean they worked. The video recorded. They still fall in the realm of practice, definitely include some kinks to work out – but that’s what editing is for, right? By great I also mean they were fun. Totally fun. My sickness has gone into hiding (probably until tonight).Right now I feel totally energized and ready to conquer the world. I feel a little like I used to when I was in high school and had way too much sugar. Sugar does nothing for me anymore, besides make me want to sleep. But back then, watch out! Sugar made me crazy. Hyped. And doing those interviews is making me a little crazy right now. Hyped for sure. I feel like I should be using a lot more exclamation points. All these periods are way too calm. Woo!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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